Selective Awareness

A lot of us are very inexperienced at focusing on the positive side of situations. What do we do about it? The first step is to realize that in any situation there are good and bad, positive and negative elements. Thus, you can choose to raise your blood pressure, serum cholesterol, heart rate, and muscle tension, or you can choose not to alter these body processes. That choice is yours. Even if the situation is so bad that it couldn't possibly get any worse, you could choose to focus on the fact that things have to get better.

Right now, there are situations in your life that are causing you a great deal of stress. You may not like where you live, whom you're living with, or the work you're doing. You may not feel you have enough time to yourself or for leisure-time activities. You may not like the way you look. You may be in poor health. You may be alone. Some of these stressors you may be able to change; some you will not be able to. You now know, however, that you can become selectively aware of their positive components while de-emphasizing (though not denying) their disturbing features.
 
Why not go even further? Each time you do something that works out well, keep the memory of that with you. Tell others how proud you are of yourself. Pat yourself on the back. Take time just before bedtime to recall all the good things that happened that day. Don't be like some of your friends who can't sleep because they still feel embarrassed about something they did that day or worried about something over which they have no control.

Stop to smell the roses. Life can be a celebration if you take the time to celebrate. What prevents us from being aware of life as we live it is often the routine of daily experience. When we experience something over and over again in the same manner, we become habituated to it. We are desensitized to that experience and interact with it out of habit, paying little attention to what we're doing. We do that very often. For instance, let's bet that when you travel to school or work, you take the same route each time. In fact, you probably chose this route because it was the fastest one. Other routes may be more scenic or interesting, but you chose speed as your number one priority.

Do you experience the "getting there" or only the "having gotten there"?
Have you ever consciously felt the texture of the steering wheel you hold so often?
Do you ever listen to the sounds of your car and the neighborhood through which you travel?

There are other ways to experience life more fully, too. The idea is to make yourself consciously aware of your experience, as you are going through it, by adopting less routine and habitual behavior.

On the next page we will talk about Humor and Stress.