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Calming the Storm: Anger Management for Children

Anger management is often paired with courtroom dramas and high school expulsions. Criminals and other delinquent individuals with anger problems are often given the option of therapy to avoid jail time; however, this image of anger management, while exploited in popular culture, is far from the true aim of the program. The goal of anger management is simply to help individuals learn how to cope with powerful emotions, whether feelings of anger, or of stress, depression, loneliness, mania, insomnia or anxiety. All of these emotions can, in the end, lead to a violent outburst, but if they can be understood and contained, the individual will be able to move on without incidence.

One of the most forgotten populations in need of anger management is children. The behaviors of children are often excused away, yet they are often signs of a deeper problem that will only worse over time, not go away. Anger management for children, like its adult counterpart, aims to help children come to terms with their feelings, and find better ways to express them than through bullying or social withdrawal.

Anger management for children is often specialized to appeal to the younger generation; while adults may be able to sit in a classroom for a long period of time, simply listening to a lecture and taking notes, children need interaction, something multi-sensory in order to keep their attention. Many of these programs are specifically designed for children with ADHD, or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, as many of these children do become more aggressive through their schooling years as they search for an outlet to their energy and frustration.

Toning It Down

While many adult anger management programs are complex, anger management for children focuses on two simple steps. The first step is prevention, or the establishing of boundaries. These boundaries, while helpful within the context of self-control strategies, are applicable elsewhere, and challenge the parents and teachers as much as the child. Rules and routines should be implemented to make the child understand his or her limits; however, these rules and routines need to be kept to the child’s ability level.

Successful anger management for children respects both the child’s successes and his or her failures; while some parents may shy away from scolding or grounding an ADHD child out of guilt, these punishments are necessary in order for the child to learn consequences, and to want to find another way to express his or her anger other than acting out. At the same time, if the tasks and stimulations are too overwhelming or complex, the child will be lost.

Once the child understands that there are more positive consequences when he or she controls his or her anger, the parents or teacher can begin the second step of anger management for children. Through teaching the child specific anger reduction techniques, the parents ensure that the child has other options than acting out. These techniques include positive statements, counting backward, deep breathing and pleasant imagery.

Even a child with ADHD is capable of successful anger management, and if parents allow a child to believe anger is acceptable, that child will only learn to use his or her disorder as a crutch. With anger management, however, ADHD children, and children who simply cannot control their emotions, will learn to make better decisions, set better goals and earn better rewards as a consequence.