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Anger Management and Reacting To Loss, Threat and Trauma

While we all must learn good anger management tactics, it’s normal for humans to be angry, when they feel threatened, or feel betrayed, and are able to express the pain we feel. Our bodies are conditioned to prepare us to flee or fight when we are faced with threats, and when we are angry, our bodies are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, to prepare us to defend ourselves. We may not be able to control our body’s reaction to loss, threats or trauma, but we can learn anger management, and act in acceptable ways. All anger is not bad. We can control our anger, rather than allowing our anger to control us.

Sometimes anger is a justified response that can be used to allow people to make, needed changes in their lives. At times, anger is justified in unfair situations, and the energy that anger provokes is what it takes to get away from harmful situations. Anger can be used to help you protect yourself when you are in danger, or to help you take action, if you are stuck in a bad or dangerous situation. Good anger management techniques are essential in these situations. 

Anger can be a way to deal with the feelings of frustration because things are not going as the person wants, and poor anger management skills can spell disaster in people prone to this type of anger. Twenty percent of people have angry personalities. If you choose to be around someone who gets frustrated easily, and expresses anger explosively, your quality of life will be drastically changed by living with a habitually angry person who has negative anger management techniques.

Check out potential partner's coping patterns, by seeing how he treats the significant others in his life when he is upset. If he treats them badly, chances are he will treat you badly too. See how he acts when he is upset and threatened, especially when under the influence of alcohol or drugs, which tend to exacerbate poor anger management skills, and don’t be foolish enough to think you can change anger patterns another has had many years to practice, before meeting you.

Anger coping patterns lie deep within the psyche and do not change unless the person makes a strong commitment to become a better person. People with poor anger management skills need a structured program of anger management or therapy to learn how to change destructive behavior.